Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
