i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize