She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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