dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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