Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
