literally had 100 drinks last night.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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