Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
