So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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