Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
