I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
