saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
