VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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