1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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