I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
