butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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