Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
is this the sara with the beer cane?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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