Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize