Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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