it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
