twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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