She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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