I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
