he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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