Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
