Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
