"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize