I'm pants shitting drunk right now
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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