Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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