So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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