Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
