i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
