Nicole vs. Life
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
