My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Is it because I queefed?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
