I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Terrible idea I love it
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
