I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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