when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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