glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
