she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
