Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
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