I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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