Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
