We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
