Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
