I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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