I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
