So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize