turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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