took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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