It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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