My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
