its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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