she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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