I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Bang-toberfest begins!!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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