My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I have tasted many bathrooms
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
