Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
