If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
you made out with another girl for some wings
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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