Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
