question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
